Why I Dont Want My Kids to Be the Best at Anything

Why I Dont Want My Kids to Be the Best at Anything My six-year-old daughter scored several goals in zu sichbei last soccer game she plays on a mixed-gender team and stands out as one of the best athletes in the league. Even at a young age, coaches andparents see something in zu sich that other kids may develop, but dont quite have yet. She has natural talent and a drive to not onlywant towin, buttoplay well.Another parent asked if I was going to sign her up for indoor soccer so she could keep improving her skills throughout the winter. If I were only thinking about my daughters soccer abilities, it would have been really easy to jump on that idea. More soccer equals better soccer right? And dont I want her to be better?To be the best?No.At least, not now.Winter soccercould be a really great option for my daughter, but she also likes basketball. I have to seewhat sport if any sport she wants to do this winter. Between her young age and the fact that I also have her siblings schedule sto juggle, the chances areslim to none that my daughter will play both sports. And mora importantlyI want to offer my kids abalance of extracurricularopportunitiesas well asunstructured time.Just because they are great at something doesnt mean they will be driven to follow that thing forever.Yes, I want my daughter and my other two children to excel in life but narrowing their focus is not the way to do it.In Malcolm Gladwells book,Outliers, he explainsthat10,000 hurs of practicing a specific task is the key to success in any field. But what if the key to success is not specifically practicing one thing for 10,000 hours but emergingyourself, specifically our kids, in a lifetime of diverse activities to give life to that one passion that will drive ourand theirsuccess?Not that I am comparing my daughter toRodger Federer orAlbertEinstein,butI do want to point out that while each are known for their specific talents (a phenomenal tennis player and brilliant scientist), they are/were also well-rounded humans with many skills.Federer is skilled in many sportsandEinstein was a talented musician. Their road to success in their respective fields was based on hard work and dedication, yes but their variety in interests led them there.I want all of my kids to benefit from both individual and teamsports. I want themto get individual feedback while learning patterns from practices like running or tennis or swimming. But I also want them to gather anticipatory and spatial awareness skills from basketball and soccer. Also, perhaps more importantly I want them to do non-sports activities, too.I am fortunate to live in an area with an amazing parks and recreation departmentthat hasaffordableextracurricular options to explore beyond just sports. Theater, arts and crafts, dance and music classes are offered to all genders and ages. My oldest loves sports but is also drawn to theater. My middle child (the twin to my daughter who excels in soccer) is athletic but has an ear fo r music and is a great dancer. And my active soccer star also loves to work with her hands.A well-rounded kid isa more creative kid, and creative minds tend to be better problem-solvers andpeople who can adapttomany situations and environments. When kids are pushed or allowed to focuson only one skill or interest, they can lose their ability to be original and flexible.My daughter has struggled with both traits.When my now-outgoing soccer player was a toddler and in preschool, she didnt know how to insert herself into imaginative play or certain social settings open-ended play and free time were hard for her. Her emotional intelligence seemed to lag behind her peers, and as a result she would isolate herself or act out to get attention. Her interest in physical activity and sports gave her the opportunity to interact with kids in a different way. Not only was she burning off anxious energy she was learning how to work as a teammate. She was also learning that she was good at basketb all, soccer, and baseball. Her friends and coaches took notice too, and I watched my daughters confidence grow.She now carries this confidence off of the field and court and into the classroom and on playdates. And because she is now more sure of herself, she is more willing to engage in imaginative and artistic play. My kid is still a skeptical perfectionist, but shes learning how to work within those characteristics not against them.David Epstein, author ofspeaks to this jack-of-all-trades, master-of-none mentality in his book and shows that the generalists are the ones who truly excel in this world, whether theyre musicians, athletes, inventors, or artists.In an interview withFatherly, Epstein talks about parents fears of their kids getting behind their classmates not making the A team orearning the grades to get into a specific college. Because of our own fears, we push our kids to stand out and be The Best. But that doesnt leave room for lateral change orresiliency infailure . Standing out often means being able to consistently stand in many roles. Epstein says, Be more focused on helping kids find match-quality than picking some skill and hoping its a fit and having them drill into that.Wecan still, and I think should, pushour kidsto succeed in sports, music, or academics.But success isnt about being the best. Its about being open totrying new things and learning new skillsthat will feed into our childs best life. Amber Leventry--This article originally appeared on SheKnows.